Pregnancy is...

(I'm remembering those little activities that we did in elementary school, where we would have to write our name vertically and write a poem using the letters of our name--I forget the name, haiku poem, maybe?). I'm bored, so here goes my attempt using the word PREGNANCY:

Preparing to have a baby

Rip through your insides and eventually rip out of you or be ripped out

Everyone is happy for you but no one actually wants to be in your place. 

Grants you the ability to gain 40 lbs. in 40 weeks in all the wrong places.

Nobody cares how sick you feel, they are only asking to be polite.

And now you have an excuse to forgo those plans to diet.

Not that I needed to diet, gosh no ;)

Careful if you get sick. You can basically only take Tylenol or Benadryl. And people will still look at you like you are a horrible mother-to-be because you can't just ride out the pain.

Your breasts will engorge and swell up to the size of balloons.  You want to feel sexy but you can't because, check it out, now you can make milk! 

And of course, the end result is a beautiful baby:

And they will love you and cry for you.  They will learn your smell, drink your milk, cry for you some more.  And then one day, they will put both hands on  their hips, look you straight in the eye with the most defiant look and one you've only seen on TV and say, "I no love you, mami, ok."

That day came for me yesterday, at about 6:30 PM in the evening after coming home from work.

Yeah well, some days I don't like her very much either, so there. *sticks out tongue*

My poor, sick baby

This was her Sunday night, right before bed.  As happy as can be with her new puppy:

Then Monday we spent the day together.  She was fine.  I put her down for a nap.  She sleeps three full hours and wakes up vomiting.

Poor thing is miserable. I place her on the floor so that I can strip the bed sheets and when I walk to the living room I find her slumped on the floor like this:

 She ended up puking again an hour later and was then happy as can 

be. Notice that even though she is sick she is clutching her Tag Junior, her new toy, for dear life, lol.

Friday-Home with Aixah

Did I mention that my new cut in hours involves having Monday's and Friday's off?

Well, to keep my sanity I am trying to take Aixah outside right before her nap and just snap a few pictures of her. Today didn't work out so well as I was hungry and she was exhausted. We were both two crabby people.


Most of the photos are out of focus.

My two favorite pictures of Aixah

Here she is at 2 years and 5 months:

Isn't she beautiful? Seriously, she has the best features, add to that her sassy personality and you have THE cutest kid.

Whoa, it's got a face!

Those were the exact words muttered from my Dad when I showed him my sons 20 week u/s pictures. Now I'll be honest, he's not very cute. But give the poor kid a break, he's not even a pound yet. Oh and for the record he is 14 ounces and his heart rate was 151. Apparently he doubled his weight in a 3 week period.





Here's Jonah Blake:

I am 5 months pregnant and starting my 6th month. Something like that, who can keep count. My stomach feels so tight and heavy. It hurts especially on the right side. I can feel my skin stretching and ouch it hurts. It's uncomfortable to sleep. I'm sleeping with three pillows and I'm favoring my left side. I'm a back sleeper by nature but that position is so hard on me. It feels like some one is sitting on my chest and I can't breathe. I remember being uncomfortable with Aixah but not until much later. Some times I have to take Benadryl to help me sleep. And I hate that I'm such a light sleeper. So all those nights that Victor goes into bed late I wake up and then it takes me about an hour to fall back asleep. Or those times that Victor barges into the bedroom for no apparent reason and asks me, "Are you sleeping?" Hello, are you serious? I'm a pregnant insomniac. You better be tiptoeing around me if I so much as have my eyes closed.

Work has slowed down lots. It went from being crazy busy to now only workin 20 hours a week. My new schedule is Tues, Wed and Thurs. I'm happy to have Mondays and Fridays off.

OK, I'm off to bed. It's almost 2AM here, waaay past my bedtime but the Yankees just won the world series and I was celebrating with a bucket of popcorn, mmm.

Oh the hormones

Yesterday afternoon I finished watching the last half hour of "Marley and me." SPOILER>>>>>>>>>>

The dog dies at the end.

On a normal day this would make me cry.

But as a very emotional pregnant person this had me bawling like a baby.

#1 because I remembered that my chihuahua, Tilly passed away about 3 years ago.

#2 because I love Labrador Retrievers and realized that I would probably never own one.

And #3 because if I ever did own a labrador retriever they would eventually die and that alone made me sad.

So my days are filled with this emotional turmoil and guilt.  I have all this guilt. So I feel guilty because I didn't try hard enough to breast feed my daughter. I've had dreams that I'm breast feeding my son and I wake up sad.  So now I can't breast feed my son because that may land me on medication for postpartum depression.

And just now I was looking on amazon.com at one of those scrap booking pregnancy books and I saw those footprints that you get at the hospital when your child is first born and realized that I have no idea where Aixah's foot prints are.  Nor do I remember where her first strands of hair are, or her dried-up, extremely gross umbilical cord stump. My cousin has a picture of her daughter's first poop. Why didn't I take a picture of Aixah's first poop and scrap book it? I don't even have an actual pic of her when she was first, first born because in my rush, with my water breaking and all I left my camera at home.  And almost no one came to visit me at the hospital besides my husband, my parents and my poor aunt that travelled over two hours and took the Staten Island Ferry on a very rainy day.  So I'm this horrible, unorganized, hormonal mother from hell that can't seem to shake this sadness away. I don't want Aixah to grow up with this huge complex because I saved baby #2's footprints and never scrap booked hers, you know.

 

There's something about Sunday's that make me nostalgic

It could also be the preggo hormones that have me pleasent one moment and super crabby witch the next--darn hormones.

But even pre-pre-pregnancy there's always been something about Sunday's. So I always make it a point to go out. And by going out I mean KH and then lunch/dinner. It's not like I go out to parties or out for drinks.

Today was one of those days where I wanted to go out and no one else was interested. I really wanted Thai food but apparently even when you're pregnant you don't get to eat what you want. It kinda sucks. So we came straight home and Victor and Aixah took a nap and I ate microwavable tacos from Costco. It's what happens when you can't cook and have no desire to learn. After those tacos I had some cake that Victor baked about 3 weeks ago. Then I got sleepy and was ready for a nap. It turned out to be a 15 minute nap because then Aixah and Victor woke up. Yay, I got to watch cartoons for the next 3 hours.

I'm kinda rambling here but Victor's wanted me to blog something nice and I just can't get past this grey cloud I have hanging over my head; mostly on Sunday's, Monday through Friday I am too busy working to feel blah.

So to be balanced and blog something neutral--I'm in my second trimester, I'm fat, I still haven't seen a Dr. but maybe soon, and I feel the baby moving (mostly when I'm hungry).

I still think this is a boy and we think we have a name but I don't think I'll be sharing as my names always seem to get snatched up by people that have their babies first.

I also think I found a stroller I love. I don't know why I obsess over strollers. Maybe since I don't drive then this is the equivalent to getting a car for me. Anyhow, I'm posting a pic of the stroller because I know come 6 months from now I'll have no idea if I wanted a Combi or a Peg Perego or a Maclaran (is it sad that I know these brands so well?).



Moving on to my first born and my favorite child, she is such a little girl. She likes jewelry, she asks Dad for money, she looks at herself in the mirror. Her hair is finally growing long and it's still light in color. I bought her a few cute outfits in Gymboree that I am dying for her t0 model so I can get some cute photographs. She's also been peeing in the potty in the morning and she says, "I did it!"

She's gotten back into cuddling. She does this alot. Hugs me and kisses me and says, "I love you mami," or, "Gracias mami," like when I change her clothing or her diaper. There's something about that that warms my heart but also something that makes me sad. I guess sad to know that she won't be the only one come March, that she'll have to share our attention and affection. It makes me a scared too, to know that I'll have to divide myself between two little people. I can barely keep up with Aixah how can I deal with two?