I ain't missing it

Work, that is. *sarcasm
It's only day 2 and I am already climbing the walls. I haven't left the house since Sunday and I don't think I may ever leave it. It's me and a sick, whiny baby. I'm pretty sick and whiny myself. And I miss going to work :(. How pathetic is that? Only day 2?!!! Geez, what a horrible mom. Some people would jump at the opportunity to be in my shoes.

At least I managed to wiggle out of my sweatpants today. Tomorrow I may need to attempt to put on a bra before my breasts begin to sag.

I've been checking work e-mail to see if bosslady writes to me. They said that we should be called in as freelancers for a small project starting next week. Please call me before I go insane.
Also, all the freelancers (all of us broke people) want to meet up for coffee (because that's all we can afford) in the city on Friday. I'll have to see if I'll be in the mood to leave my apartment.

At least I'm over my phone, right?

Sprint Blackberry pearl 8130 only 125 must sell clean esn - $125 (brooklyn)

Last night I dreamt that my purse was stolen on the train.  What is the recurring theme here? Something being stolen from me.  So yes, I am still obsessing over my disappearing phone.  And more so now, after I saw an ad on craigslist where some one was selling a (my) Sprint Blackberry Pearl 8130 for $125 dollars, no charger (because they lost it, yeah right!).  So I write to them and then I have a friend of a friends write to them and guess what?  They deleted their post.  

I'd like to think that I am intimidating the thief, but in reality he is probably just laughing at me, again.  

I was willing to buy the phone back from them, I don't understand why he has to hide...ugh...

Just give me my phone back before I hurt you...I have been delving into my subconscious and I think I may know what this thug looks like.  

I have not left my house since Thursday.

But I refused to sit around and feel sorry for myself. So I began a 24 hour project of de-cluttering the closets. And it felt good and guess what? I stopped thinking about how pitiful things have suddenly become. I think when you are able to move around your apartment without stepping on something or tripping over a toy or sitting on a sharp object you just automatically feel better and even start sleeping better.

Victor wasn't very happy about me throwing away his things, like his College textbooks and his collection of printers from 1990 and his cassette stereo player--that's why I did that when he was sleeping ;). But I think I enjoyed it. (I'm still working on getting rid of that bike that is just sitting in our hallway, I bump into that at least twice every day).

I think I should start a project where I throw out 35 things every day (I think I read that some where online). Of course, the same lady who wrote that mentioned that we should shine our sink every night before going to bed--as if!

I am convinced that Aixah is the smartest, cutest, feistiest little kid I've ever come across. As I'm writing this she is just sprawled across our couch in her monkey pajama set and writing, with a pencil, on a notepad. How old is she? I might add that she's also really fixated on the lifetime movie that I have on. I know she should be watching cartoons but I am so bored with Hi-5. And the TV is really on as background noise, I swear.

I'm back.  

I've given up on working for the rest of the day.  I'm just too stressed out.  How can anyone possibly concentrate on working?  And if there is suddenly so much work why are they getting rid of us come the 15th?

And get this.  They just put me in charge of a new project, today.  Why?  So I can manage it for 5 days?  I don't get it.  I hope they are planning things right and I hope they let us know what is going on.  I hope this doesn't sound like I don't want the job because I do but I want to know what they plan to do with us.  This is so frustrating.

I'm trying to keep my cool but I am having a complete meltdown at work.  MELTDOWN Central...I can not stop crying.  I mean, I'm not wailing or anything but I can't stop the tears or my nose from running and I'm sure that the guy sitting in front of me can see me through these transparent partitions.  I am just a pathetic mess.  I was fine one hour ago.  I was joking around with my friends via e-mail and I was busy actually working.  And then I noticed that my cell phone was missing.  Missing...stolen...it ran away...whatever, it's GONE.  And I just have to throw my hands in the air in complete exasperation.  And I know, I just know that some one out there is sitting around all happy and laughing at me because they have my blackberry.  I canceled my service because I am not about to give anyone the satisfaction of making phone calls with my phone.  

OK, this rant is over.  I have to get back to work, like I could actually concentrate.

"The sun will come out tomorrow"

I've started to actively search for jobs.  I haven't actually sent my resume any where (that would be too realistic) but it is updated and ready to go.  I have pretty much notified all of my friends that I will be jobless in two weeks, word of mouth is very important.  I also registered at www.linkedin.com, great networking tool!  And guess who I found there?  Bosslady!  How funny is that.  Oh and a bunch of Professors from Baruch. I already updated my profile and did as much bragging about myself as I could.

I think I'm feeling more confident.  Maybe this is a good thing.  I mean, if this place hadn't kicked me out, who knows for how long I would've been here, not growing.  Something good must come out of this.  Maybe I can catch up on my writing and on my housework.  Spend more time with Aixah and actually learn to cook.  

Things will be OK.  And I mean that for everyone out there without a job or about to lose their job.  We will pull through.

Freaking Out

I'm freaking out!  I just fixed up my resume and the reality of my current situation really hit me. 

I'll be leaving here in less than two weeks.  I will most likely never see any of these people again. I don't mean to be dramatic but it's true.  I had some really good times here.  This was my first real job out of College.  I went through pregnancy here and bouts of nausea.  I brought my baby in for a baby shower and my boss gave Aixah her swing set. I won my first game of RISK ever, here.  Our chocolate cake and beer events...our falafel lunches...my arguments with Bossman...I'm not ready for any of this to be over.  And I don't want their business to fail, not at all.  The mere thought makes me sad.  

My boss asked me how I was feeling, she is such a sweetheart, and I see the sadness reflected in her eyes.  I want to make things better for her.  And I want to keep my job because I am comfortable here.  And it scares me to have to pick up and leave and start over again.