Why Sample Sales are not for me

The people that go to these functions are snooty. Not to say that I'm the humblest being ever, cuz I'm not, but I'm by no means snooty. Sure, I like expensive things but my conscience will not allow me to buy a blouse that is $300 bucks, on sale. The people here know designers by name, A to Z and while I applaud that (OK, not really, that don't impress me much), I much prefer to hold a conversation with some one that is not trying to decipher what designer shirt I'm wearing while we conversate (because it is most likely NOT designer).

Anyway, this place was a trip and a half. A line to get in the elevator, a line to check in your coat and designer handbag and another line to pick up your coat and designer handbag. No lines to pay though because the prices were so outrageous and the clothing, quite honestly, hideous. And no accessories what so ever. I hate it when you go some place with the idea of shopping and come out empty handed. Michael Kors, you disappointed me.

But, anyway, all shopping blues aside, I thought today would've been fun 'girl time' because my mom was watching Aixah and I had the evening to spend with my girlfriends. Lets just say, without going into too much detail, that the company wasn't thrilling. I wasn't feeling the love, if you know what I mean. Anyway, the evening ended with me having sushi at a restaurant I wanted to try out by my parents house, all by my lonesome self. And because good food makes me happy it ended up being a good night.

I feel really bad.  Really, really bad.  Ugh ugh ugh

Last night I had a hard time falling asleep because I felt so bloated.  I mean like the worse bloating I've ever felt.  Like a 6-month pregnant belly and with the sensation that I might just POP at any given moment.  

I just finished having Spinach Bisque, which I considered, to my delight, to be nutritious but I feel just as bad as last night.  No, wait, I feel worse.  I'm sitting here with this huge gut, thinking, I know I'm overweight, I know I have stomach fat, but this, this 'condition' is not normal. 

Nor is the fact that I've been taking TUMS, every day for the past two to three weeks, anything normal.  Something is wrong with me.  My diet, for one thing.  But what is it?  Am I lactose intolerant?  I can not be lactose intolerant, milk is such a blessing to me.  I take vitamins and I drink plenty of water.  I drink alcohol in moderation and I don't smoke. I should be living 'till 100.  Not sitting here with a Buddha gut contemplating intrusive exams involving cameras probing through my digestive tract.  My mother and father get colonoscopy's, I DO NOT get colonoscopy's. 

Pigeon poop

A pigeon pooped on me this morning.

It was gross.

I'm a block away from work with a latte in one hand and my Fossil handbag hanging off of my shoulder. I walk with this ridiculous bounce which is why I usually spill coffee over my hand at least twice before I make it to the office, but I was doing really good today.  I hadn't tripped, I hadn't lost my cell phone, my latte was intact and then BAM...green pigeon poop all over my arm and shoulder.  It nearly knocked me over.  What the heck had this pigeon been eating?  

I don't even lose a beat.  My face is wrinkled in disgust but I just keep on walking hoping that I can make it inside the building before anyone sees that I have been anointed with green pigeon poop. Discreetly, I reach in my pocket for a tissue (thank God for my collection of napkins that I always carry in my pockets), and I start wiping.  And now I have green pigeon poop encrusted in my nail.  How gross is that?  I hold my finger erect like it may just fall off at any moment. Nails are gross.  They catch everything.  I really must cut them.

Now I'm in the building waiting for the elevators and of course, our usually empty lobby is full of people.  What's with the parade? A perky blonde decides to strike up a conversation, but I don't want to talk.  I have green pigeon poop on my arm and shoulder AND encrusted in my nail and the last thing I want is to make friends with anyone when I feel so dirty--curse that wretched pigeon and his bowel movement.  He had the whole sidewalk to himself, why target my neurotic self?

My weekend (TMI; gross)

It consisted of lots of vomit, diarrhea and dirty laundry.

I'm not sure what happened, but Friday I ate something that didn't sit so well in my tummy. I also had a beer, just ONE beer for lunch and that just upset my stomach even more. So at around 4PM I am sitting in the office feeling very nauseous and by now I have made 5 very obvious trips to the bathroom. I just want to be home, sitting in my own toilet, you know. And all I can think about is the fact that I have to ride the train back home for what will be an hour commute. But I manage the trip without any accidents, thankfully.

When I get home I throw up. I'm throwing up the Winter Ale and all I am thinking is that I am never having beer for lunch again, ever.

That night I feel better. My stomach a little unsettled but better nonetheless. Saturday I wake up so hungry that I go have lunch at a diner by myself and order a little bit of everything that's on the menu. I keep everything down. But then Saturday night Aixah is sick. She throws up at 3Am and then again at 4AM. We're changing crib sheets and Victor is bathing her and of course you are too tired to go back to bed after that.

She doesn't throw up again, but she is not feeling well all day today. You can tell that she's trying to be her charming self, but obviously her tummy hurts and she is weak from last nights vomiting session.

Anyhoo, about 30 minutes ago she did the biggest diarrhea poop. This was HUGE. I didn't even know where to begin. It was up to her neck. By the time we got her PJ up and over her head she had poop all over her hair and arm. Off to the tub with this stink bomb.

She's in the crib now, clean bed sheets, clean diaper, clean PJs...I hope we don't have any incidents tonight and that she is all better tomorrow.

Look at how happy she looks after that massive poop.

I am so much more efficient when I am in the office.  Even with all the FB status updates and the browsing of the web and the long lunches, I still get plenty done.  I'm almost done with my translations and the only reason that I am not done yet is because I'm stalling.  Obviously I want to be called in on Friday so that I can get paid for those hours.

We had lunch at RICE today.  I had chicken satay and probably won't have it ever again.  I wasn't crazy about their peanut sauce. But I went with my two co-workers and we had a good time.  It almost feels like the old days back in Astoria.  It feels so good to get along with the people I work with.  

One of the freelancers sat on my desk on Friday and left trash in my garbage.  And then Tuesday, when I came back into the office, I couldn't find my Retro 51 pen.  I love writing with that thing.  I'm debating whether or not to ask the person if they've seen my pen.  Maybe they absentmindedly  placed it in their pocket.  Or maybe it's gone forever.

Snow Day

Today was a snow day. We actually had quite a few inches of snow, what we call a blizzard. My jefa told me to work from home.

I am the worst candidate to work from home. Right now (at eight minutes past five, when I should be wrapping it up) I have just finished 1 out of the 12 translations that I should've had completed for the day. I think I forgot my Spanish. And I really want nothing more than to take a nap on the couch.

And I did take a nap. A 3-hour nap. I've now completed 2 translations and it is 8:30 and Aixah is up from her nap. I think I'll work on two more translations and call it a night. I am just not in the mood for this.

This weekend was fun though. On Saturday Vic and I went to a steakhouse in Jersey with friends and Aixah. Aixah made such a mess. We always need to leave this huge tip because of her--messy, expensive kid.

On Sunday after KH my mom finally agreed to watch Aixah and so Victor and I had a date night. We had thai at this place called Joya on Court Street. I had chicken spring rolls and pad se hue, mmm and two iced coffee's. The strangest thing is that we bumped into so many old faces. First was my ex-boyfriend and his wife who were double dating with a former, unofficial best friend and her husband, so yeah, that wasn't awkward at all, .lol. Then as we're leaving we see a really good friend of ours who I have not seen since I went to her wedding in CA almost 3 years ago, crazy no? What a small world.

We ended the night by walking over to the bookstore and then going into Union Square to catch a movie.

Rambling in all kind of tangents...

I believe I'm starting to fall off of that high I've been riding for the past few days. It always happens this way. I'll be full of energy and all this love and then the next few days I'm in this huge funk and everything offends me and I can do nothing right, and oh yes, I hate skinny people. But right now I'm in between moods. I'm not skippidy doing but I'm also not ready to smack any one, just yet. I wish I could just be stable. Funny thing is that a lot of my friends think I'm this happy go lucky person, Mrs. Brightside, which I can be, but I don't think it necessarily describes me as a person. I'm pretty grumpy most of the time.

My co-worker texted me yesterday from work (I was home). She writes, "I'm having a winter ale at Cafe Bar. Thinking of you." I don't think there are many people that I know having a beer during their afternoon lunch break that are thinking of me. So this really touches me. Of course, she may just be thinking of me because she knows I like the chilled Winter Ale's from Cafe Bar, but that's OK, she is thinking of me and that's all that matters.

I'm having a swell time reading this chick lit by Sophie Kinsella, THE UNDOMESTICATED GODDESS. In fact, I can relate to Samantha who is domesticlly impaired, much like myself. It is a LOL read. And it really works out for my current mood. I need something silly. That ATONEMENT just wasn't working for me.

My God Aixah is so whiny today. I put both of her blankie's to wash and all she can do is tap me and ask for her 'mimir.' Totally my fault for washing both of them so close to her naptime. I really wish these kids came with a mute button.