Sunny Skies

The weather was absolutely gorgeous this past weekend. The temperatures were in the 90s both Saturday and Sunday.

Saturday we had our Special Day Convention and Aixah behaved fairly well. We went out to eat afterwards with a group of friends to an Argentine Steakhouse in Lower Manhattan. The food was delish. I had Filet Minon, medium and it was so tender, you didn't even have to chew it. The bill was outrageous, Victor and I paid $300, eek! Needless to say we won't be taking that luxury very often.

Sunday I went to the Botanical Gardens with my parents and Aixah. It was beautiful. Here are some of my fave pics.

And so the unemployed nightmares begin

I dreamt last night that I went to the office to pick up some of my things. Victor was with me and walked into the office, which he's never done before, and only did this time because I had sworn up and down that it would only be Lauren. Boy was I surprised. The office was boasting people of all genders and nationalities. I don't know who any of these people were, or where exactly my subconscious picked them up from, except for one, who was a palestinian boy from elementary school that had a disability. And he was the one sitting at by desk.

Then bosslady appears in my dream, just as I'm shuffling aimlessly about and stalling, and she says, "We don't have any work yet." I'm giving her a, 'you've got to be kidding me look,' since there are about 20 people that are typing away furiously on their computers and one that is banging away on my yes, my computer.

You know that feeling you get in your dreams when you're right about to cry? It's very similar to real life. So I get that feeling and all I want to do is get out of there before Bosslady sees me in tears. Apparently, I'm even prideful in my dreams.

Losing it

Yesterday I could've been on Oprah and talked about how wonderful motherhood is. I could've been awarded mother of the year. It was a wonderful day being with my sweet two-year-old and attempting to potty train. I didn't mind that I had to strip Aixah of her pants and pampers several times that day and place her on the potty even though I knew that she was psyching me out each time. I almost didn't care that she pooped and then reached to grab it and show it to me as if to confirm, yup, poop. It didn't matter because I was loving being a SAHM. Work? Who needs work? Not when you have such great, fulfilling companionship.

And then today comes. And I'm just ready to combust. I don't want to potty train, I don't want to color with her, and I don't want to try to force her to eat. If all she wants to eat is half a bagel for the whole day then so be it. If she wants to eat her crayons then so be it. I don't want to hear her call my name over and over again. The whining bothers me. I always answer the same way, "Yes, my love." I say it in Spanish, "Si mi amor," except that amor sounds like, amolllll. The longer I extend the l the more irritated I am.

Aixah's a real genius though. She has this great line that she executes in the precise moment of my near combustion. She says, "Mami, I ouv you," cocking her head to the side and smiling that big, toothy grin. She could seriously win an academy award for that delivery. Or if she sees my face really serious she's say, "Mami, niiiice," and caresses my arm, if that doesn't work she'll kiss me. Real genius that kid is.

I don't know what has happened to me since yesterday, cabin fever, maybe? Yesterday I was so in love with my child and today I'm ready to give her away. I'm sure I'd miss her after a few days and probably ask to have her back, but only after a few days.

So I do what any other desperate mother would do. I head to Grandma's. I'm walking at maximum velocity. I'm chasing away people loitering on the wheelchair ramp. I was so desperate to get her out of the house that I just dressed her in a spaghetti strap dress and capris and a light jacket even though it was cloudy and in the mid-50s. Oops. I was just waiting, just waiting for some nosy stranger to say, "Isn't she cold?" Fortunately no one dared to approach me, cuz I was just ready to bite some one's head off. I turn the corner into my mother's street and Aixah shouts, "Abu," raising both hands in the air as if she were praising Jah. I understand the joy. I feel like juimping up and down myself. I'm tempted to just knock on my mother's door and just leave my child as an offering. But I don't, of course. You can think these thoughts and blog about them but if you actually do it, then that's when you've really lost it.

Potty Training

Day 1:


First Aixah liked the potty. She liked to take it apart and then try to put it back together and then scream when she couldn't get it right. She also got a kick out of opening the top and slamming it shut a numerous amount of times...open, shut, open, shut. She tried stepping on it, coloring on it and throwing garbage in it.


OK, so now that we had established that Aixah was not afraid of the potty it was time to get serious. So I ask her, "pee pee?" And she nods and says, "pee, pee."

So I take off her pants, take off her pampers and sit her down. And this is when Aixah freaks out and clings to me as if I were about to throw her out a window. Uh Oh, not good. I don't pressure her. I put her pamper back on and she puts her pants on, the fastest ever.


She naps, I nap and then, sucess! She's not afraid of the potty. She hasn't peed in it either but at least now she sits on it butt naked. Either we are progressing or she just likes to be butt naked.



She likes to sit on it and color. Every time I glance over to her she gives me a nod of encouragement and says, "pee, pee."

Not bad for Day 1, right? At least she hasn't peed on the floor.