Funny Story (Potty Training Chronicles)

So my daughter has been away from home for 4 days and yesterday, after work, I bring her home and she is just in toy heaven, pulling out everything and playing with it. (She missed home). One of her favorite activities is placing a doll in the umbrella stroller and then tipping the stroller so that the doll falls to the floor.  She then picks up the doll and while rubbing the doll's head says in the most comforting voice, "Awe, you're fine!" It's really sweet.

Then she decides that she wants to play with the potty.  So she tells me that she has to pee and I pull down her diaper and pants and around she walks, butt-naked for about an hour. Suddenly, in the most urgent voice, she says, "Oh pee pee," and she runs to the potty and picks up her shirt so that she doesn't sit on it (bright kid, I know).  And so, I wait expectantly, holding my breath, not making a sound and thinking, this is it, this is really going to happen, my baby is going to go potty and I didn't even have to train her...And then, her face all contorted like she's pushing something big out, she lets out this long (and kind of loud) fart.  She smiles, jumps up and says, "I did it!"

Looks like Aixah thinks she needs to use the potty any time she has to pass gas.  Oh, if only everyone had manners like my daughter.

Oh the drama!

We're home!  Back from our mini-vacation and completely spontaneous trip to Key West. It has been years since Victor and I take a vacation together.  The last one was three years ago for a friends wedding in CA. 

Key West is beautiful and I have 900 photographs to prove it. 

Unfortunately, as is the case with us, there was tons of drama. 

Drama #1: I'm thinking, hotel room=great sex. For whatever reason, sex is always better in a hotel. The thing was that I wasn't expecting to get my period on the very same day of our vacation. And since I wasn't expecting it I wasn't carrying any maxi pads.  So along we go, driving in our very expensive Jeep Wrangler rental along a beautiful coast far away from home and I'm jumping in and out of the car to snap pics and Aixah is quietly sitting in the back being all nice and all is good in the world. And then...hmm...something's quite not right. So I kind of check myself out and yup, there it is. And there we are, parked in a small island, in the middle of a larger chain of islands and about 2 hours away from our hotel with nothing but a piece of Bounty pried in between my legs. This is just wonderful. 

Shortly after...

Drama #2: Victor loses his cell phone.  We go and make a U-turn back to all the places we pulled over to take pics.  I have it in my mind that the phone is some where in the car. But that Jeep is just so huge that we don't actually find the phone until 45 minutes later. Victor looks all over all the rest stops and in the trash and in the sand.  He has it in his head that some one stole his phone...cuz there are just TONS of people out there *rollseyes* Not to be left behind Aixah starts screaming. We've been driving for three hours and she wants out. I change her pamper and watch as Victor starts to breakdown.  Apparently losing that phone is a huge deal because that's also our GPS and that is also how Victor is conducting his business while away from NY. While Aixah screams I change her diaper and two minutes later she poops so I have to change that too and mind you, this Bounty can't hold on for much longer. Back in the car I go and I do a prayer, don't laugh, I prayed and I said something like, ...please let us find this phone. We just want to enjoy ourselves for a few days...etc. etc. Not even five minutes later I glance in between the seats, I had done this already several times and it hadn't bee

n there, but maybe with all the movement it has shifted forward.  And there it is, Victor's beautiful Blackberry. I think I'm gonna score Brownie points b

ecause I found his phone but apparently Victor hasn't forgotten that I just got my period and ruined any chances of having great sex. So off we drive in brooding silence, except for Aixah who likes to brood very loudly.

That was Day 1. Not to mention that as soon as we reached our hotel we were greeted by a torrential downpour. Not that that stopped Victor from getting into the pool. (Oh and Aixah flipped over my camera bag while it was still open and spilled all of its contents, including a VERY expensive new lens onto the floor. Thankfully it didn't break or I would've gone ballistic).

Day 2 was pleasant for the most part. Except for when Aixah decided to get into my camera bag and eat TUMS and possible Advil gel-tabs that I had packed for the trip. I was showering and Victor was watching her but apparently it was my fault for carrying the pills along. So we argued and threw wet underwear at each other and that was followed by the silent treatment. That night I dreamt that Aixah died.

Day 3 (possibly Day 2) something bit me on my eyelid and I had my eye swollen for most of the trip. The pain is finally gone now but I still have the swelling. The swelling made for horrible pics of me.

Finally, our last day.  I really hate going back home after vacation. NY is so dismal and colorless. Our flight was delayed and we ended up landing at Laguardia at 1AMish, then we waited on line for a cab for 20 minutes, then there was traffic on the way home. We pull up to our apartment at 2AM. Aixah is up and she's exhausted and she can't wait to get into the apartment, except that...wait...where are Victor's keys? They are not in the diaper bag. They are not in my purse or the carry on suitcase. Completely homeless we stand in our lobby, looking pathetic and cold and carrying out of place tans. We stand there for an hour. Finally a girl lets us into the lobby and Victor is able to, get this, 'break into' our apartment. Why does that not lie well with me? 

If your life could be a movie, what would it be?

How about, National Lampoon's Vacation...

Overall though, drama aside, I loved it. I can't wait to go away with my family of nutcases again. And yes, even with Aixah.  It wouldn't have been the same without her.

And, of course I have some pics. I'll post more tonight.

 

The Good, the bad and the ugly

There is tons of updating to be done but I'm not sure which to keep private and which should go public. I have a big mouth, or rather I have happy typing fingers, so I need to be careful with how much I spill. (Anyway, you wouldn't believe me if I told you, seriously--and No, I'm not pregnant).

So in the moments of my absence I have started working again, become the proud owner of a Canon Rebel XSI--this thing is a machine gun, had my first unpaid photo shoot, written fiction and posted it online for all to read, become reacquainted with old friends, learned to ride a bike, convinced myself that I am the worst mother ever and drawn closer to God.

And that is me in a nutshell.

I am happy and I'm also proud of myself (if one can say that about themselves) because I can bounce back from an awful situation and just 'deal' with it. Of course, the 'awful' situation referenced to wasn't fatal but still, I carried myself well. *pats back*

Parenting, on the other hand, is getting harder. I'm becoming the mother that I said I would never become. The mother that just lets their child throw tantrums or that just gives their child what they want so that they won't make a scene. I find myself losing it a lot of times and unable to deal. I think I'm the only mother out there that isn't suffering from some baby fever. I can't see myself having another one. And when I hear of some one getting pregnant I'm just like, why? Is everyone out there enjoying motherhood? Is there a quota that you're out to fulfill? I'm not getting it *scratches head*. Will some one please pass me some baby fever dust?

So, in an attempt to enjoy the warmer weather and spend some quality time together as a family, quality time that doesn't involve Aixah hogging the big sofa and watching Hi-5 while I type away some imaginary story involving superheroes (yes, you heard right, superheroes) we go to Toys'R'Us and buy a bike with a baby seat strapped to the back. Well, Victor buys the bike and I get stuck with the old bike that's been sitting in out apartment, abandoned, for the past two years. It's all good though because I have the new camera *grins*

This was this past Saturday. Mind you it was the first time in about 5 days that the sun shone. We finally decided to leave the house at about seven in the evening. Aixah refused to eat her dinner and we just headed out. We wanted to do a bike trail along the Verrazano Bridge Park while the sunset. By the time Victor had finished mounting the baby seat the sun had set a thousand times. It was dark and Aixah was crabby with a capital 'C'.

This picture right here summerizes our "pleasent" family outing.

Our "trail ride" was like three feet long, honestly. Aixah was wailing the whole time. We were a sad bunch. Victor had to walk his bike and Aixah back to the car. We ended the night in Applebee's. Nothing that a few beers and a few buffalo wings can't fix, right?

And just so that I don't end things on a sad note...the next day we went to the park on our bikes and Aixah loved it. I almost got hit by a car, but that's another story.