There is tons of updating to be done but I'm not sure which to keep private and which should go public. I have a big mouth, or rather I have happy typing fingers, so I need to be careful with how much I spill. (Anyway, you wouldn't believe me if I told you, seriously--and No, I'm not pregnant).
So in the moments of my absence I have started working again, become the proud owner of a Canon Rebel XSI--this thing is a machine gun, had my first unpaid photo shoot, written fiction and posted it online for all to read, become reacquainted with old friends, learned to ride a bike, convinced myself that I am the worst mother ever and drawn closer to God.
And that is me in a nutshell.
I am happy and I'm also proud of myself (if one can say that about themselves) because I can bounce back from an awful situation and just 'deal' with it. Of course, the 'awful' situation referenced to wasn't fatal but still, I carried myself well. *pats back*
Parenting, on the other hand, is getting harder. I'm becoming the mother that I said I would never become. The mother that just lets their child throw tantrums or that just gives their child what they want so that they won't make a scene. I find myself losing it a lot of times and unable to deal. I think I'm the only mother out there that isn't suffering from some baby fever. I can't see myself having another one. And when I hear of some one getting pregnant I'm just like, why? Is everyone out there enjoying motherhood? Is there a quota that you're out to fulfill? I'm not getting it *scratches head*. Will some one please pass me some baby fever dust?
So, in an attempt to enjoy the warmer weather and spend some quality time together as a family, quality time that doesn't involve Aixah hogging the big sofa and watching Hi-5 while I type away some imaginary story involving superheroes (yes, you heard right, superheroes) we go to Toys'R'Us and buy a bike with a baby seat strapped to the back. Well, Victor buys the bike and I get stuck with the old bike that's been sitting in out apartment, abandoned, for the past two years. It's all good though because I have the new camera *grins*
This was this past Saturday. Mind you it was the first time in about 5 days that the sun shone. We finally decided to leave the house at about seven in the evening. Aixah refused to eat her dinner and we just headed out. We wanted to do a bike trail along the Verrazano Bridge Park while the sunset. By the time Victor had finished mounting the baby seat the sun had set a thousand times. It was dark and Aixah was crabby with a capital 'C'.
This picture right here summerizes our "pleasent" family outing.
Our "trail ride" was like three feet long, honestly. Aixah was wailing the whole time. We were a sad bunch. Victor had to walk his bike and Aixah back to the car. We ended the night in Applebee's. Nothing that a few beers and a few buffalo wings can't fix, right?
And just so that I don't end things on a sad note...the next day we went to the park on our bikes and Aixah loved it. I almost got hit by a car, but that's another story.
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