Rejected--of course

I've just had a bad day.
I took the day off from work since ,

A. I had no one to watch the baby
and
B. I needed a day to apply for health insurance.

Let me just tell you that all this crap about the government helping women who are pregnant is all a pack of lies. And let me also say that today has re-confirmed a thousand times why I did NOT want to be pregnant at this very moment.

So Victor, the father of my un-born child, couldn't make the visit with me to the hospital because he had a VERY, extremely busy day of work. So he drops me off and I enter Lutheran Hospital, which has to be in the most depressing parts of Brooklyn, with the Toddler. I go to like 7 different stations. All the women are Hispanic and all are very helpful. At station 2 I pee in a cup and they do a pregnancy test to confirm that I am pregnant, forget the fact that it looks as if I swallowed a basketball. So I pee and they test and OH, guess what, "You are VERY pregnant." So this lady writes me a much needed letter saying that 'I am pregnant." Apparently this letter opens the gateway to heaven. It didn't for me so if anyone's interested I'll sell it to you.

Then I go to Station 3. Station 3 was a horribly long wait. Their were about 20, very much pregnant Mexican women with their kids of all ages and me with Aixah SCREAMING. It was pure joy.

After a 30 minute wait, of which Aixah screamed for 28 of them, they call me up to schedule me an appointment for Aug 17.

Then I go to the final station of all where the actual application takes place. As soon as she sees Victor and my combined income she apologetically rejects us. She hands me a handful of tissues because I can't help myself and start to cry. Then I apologize for crying because I don't want her to think that I'm trying to pull one of those acts where I kick and scream until I get insurance.

So I walk out feeling as undignified as ever and I stick myself in the closet-sized toilet that I had just peed from about an hour ago. And then I cry some more, until Aixah pulls the emergency cord. Yup. Who knows what those ladies thought. Maybe that I was trying to kill myself, the Toddler and the un-born child.

I call for a cab and cry behind my sunglasses as I wait for the car. Then I cry in the car. The cab drops me off at my house and as soon as he pulls away I realize that I don't have my house keys. BEAUTIFUL. All I want is to get home and REALLY cry and now I'm locked out. So I start walking to my Dad's house and yes, I'm crying the whole time.

As soon as I get to my Dad's house I really let it out. My Dad becomes a complete mess when I cry. It's cute because he tries to get me to laugh at his jokes.

Him: "Don't worry, baby. There are other options."
ME: (wailing) Noooo, pregnancy is a pre-exisiting condition.
Him: Well, what then. Are you going to have the baby outside on the street?"
Me: (Crying louder) YES!
Him: (Laughs) No you're not, baby.

SO yeah, today was not a good day for me.