Pregnancy is...

(I'm remembering those little activities that we did in elementary school, where we would have to write our name vertically and write a poem using the letters of our name--I forget the name, haiku poem, maybe?). I'm bored, so here goes my attempt using the word PREGNANCY:

Preparing to have a baby

Rip through your insides and eventually rip out of you or be ripped out

Everyone is happy for you but no one actually wants to be in your place. 

Grants you the ability to gain 40 lbs. in 40 weeks in all the wrong places.

Nobody cares how sick you feel, they are only asking to be polite.

And now you have an excuse to forgo those plans to diet.

Not that I needed to diet, gosh no ;)

Careful if you get sick. You can basically only take Tylenol or Benadryl. And people will still look at you like you are a horrible mother-to-be because you can't just ride out the pain.

Your breasts will engorge and swell up to the size of balloons.  You want to feel sexy but you can't because, check it out, now you can make milk! 

And of course, the end result is a beautiful baby:

And they will love you and cry for you.  They will learn your smell, drink your milk, cry for you some more.  And then one day, they will put both hands on  their hips, look you straight in the eye with the most defiant look and one you've only seen on TV and say, "I no love you, mami, ok."

That day came for me yesterday, at about 6:30 PM in the evening after coming home from work.

Yeah well, some days I don't like her very much either, so there. *sticks out tongue*