I’m in an incredibly good mood today and I don’t know why, but what a nice change from the last couple of days. You can always tell when I’m in a good mood too; I just can’t stop talking.
I think I need to update my readers (lol, totally full of myself today) on what has been going on. I’m writing this in a word document because, for some very annoying reason, I can’t access my blog. I am hoping that this is only temporary because I really need this outlet.
First off I went to KH last night and Aixah was amazing. But she was amazing because she wasn’t with me (not ideal, but I’ll take it). She went from one person to another and I was able to listen to the meeting for once. This is great. If anyone knows me I have a very short attention span. If I’m hungry I will think about food, if I’m tired my mind will just start thinking about nonsense, if someone gets up to go to the bathroom I will follow them with my eyes. It’s an awful habit that I have to break.
On another note, I met with Bossman yesterday and we did some bonding, which is a little scary considering that his very presence makes me become all defensive and sarcastic. We met in regards to a presentation that we will be doing today. My part is quality control—please don’t ask, I’m still trying to figure this out, I only have a few hours left.
So it turns out that Bossman mentions that I am a good writer which is totally strange and random since he hasn’t really seen my writing, well, unless he has been reading my blog (and then I’d have to kill him, lol). There isn’t much opportunity to be creative in this company but the few times that they have asked me to write something or create something I have done a good job. Anyway, the fact that he appreciates my writing just makes me open up and I start talking about College and the classes I took and the Professor’s that bored me to tears, etc. He likes this conversation because he is a Philosophy Professor at Rutgers University. I tell him that I hated Philosophy. This conversation continues and soon we are laughing and talking like old friends. And then he does something that always makes my co-worker and I freak. He flexes his muscle. He does this all the time but only with me or my female co-worker; slightly disturbing no? I think about asking him, ‘Why do you always do that thing with your arm? Is that a twitch or something? Should I be impressed?' But I think better of it. We are not that cool.
On another note, I have been dreaming, a lot. I’ve always been a dreamer and a lucid dreamer at that (you know, those people that wake up in the dream and can control the dream—totally cool and intense). And don’t worry, I studied that in psychology, it is nothing paranormal, lol.
Two nights ago I dreamt that all my friends were going on a trip to Belgium but that I wasn’t invited. The whole dream was just sad and frustrating for me because I wanted to go on this trip and couldn’t understand that my friends didn’t want me to go because I had a kid. None of my friends have kids. So here I am in this dream, feeling like I'm 10 and isolated and like I have the cooties or something. Not a good feeling for a just-turned-27-year-old. Or maybe it's frustration from the fact that we can't go on vacation as a family because Victor's business won't permit.
Then last night I dreamt that I met up with a cyber friend and her son from my pregnancy forum at Grand Central Station. We went shopping and then we had coffee at a little shop. It was nice. And it was, again, a reflection on my social life and…I don’t know…my feeling kinda lonely? Does that make sense? It's OK to feel lonely, right?
Sorry, this whole post has been about reflections and more for me than anyone else. But if I can't go into a longwinded rant about myself in my own blog then where can I?
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